A New Life for An Education Dean: A Special Valentine’s Day Story

By Bill Henk — Although the day felt ordinary to the Dean, it marked the beginning of his new life.  He expected to enjoy a delightful lunch with his wife.   What occurred instead stands as a lesson for us all.

Dr. Walter Gmelch is Dean of the School of Education at the University of San Francisco.  USF is  a fellow Jesuit institution, and I met Dr. Gmelch at the fall meeting of the AJCU Education deans in 2003.  But he was not really a stranger to me.

Once my future as a dean at Marquette became sealed, I started reading everything available on best practices in “deaning.”   One name kept showing up in the literature: His.

About the Dean

Walt had been an Education dean at Washington State and then Iowa State.   He loved these jobs, and it showed in the distinguished way he performed his duties and in the wisdom that infused his writing on what it meant to be an outstanding administrator.  No author spoke to me more about bringing honor to the office of the dean than Walt Gmelch.   Let’s just say that it came as no surprise that he enjoyed national stature.   He was my professional hero.  Still is.

At that first AJCU meeting, I didn’t know any of the other Education deans.  But they all knew each other.  As I recall, the first to greet me was Walt.  When he introduced himself, I thought, “THE Walt Gmelch?”   I had no idea that he had left Iowa State to take the deanship at USF.  He explained that he was a native Californian, and the allure of the beautiful city by the bay became irresistible for him and his beloved wife, Paula.   They lived comfortably in a condo within walking distance of the campus and took advantage of being back home.

About the Dean’s Wife

Paula had the reputation of being a great mother, and a person of warmth, respectfulness, and empathy.  She’s been described as ”fresh, energetic and very much a part of campus life.”  She attended many athletic events and university functions, and volunteered her time generously for a host of important university and community causes.  Father Jeff LaBelle, a faculty member in our College who completed his doctorate at USF not long ago, told me that Walt and Paula spent a great deal of time together traveling, walking, and talking.  In short, Walt and Paula Gmelch were a wonderful, happy couple.

The Dean’s New “Life”

But then on March 1st, 2007, everything changed.  Paula Gmelch’s life was tragically cut short in a freak accident right on the USF campus.  She was literally pinned against the wall of a building by a vehicle that had been hit and careened out of control.  Paula was simply on her way to meet Walt for lunch.   I could be mistaken, but I think that Walt got his first glimpse of the awful scene when he looked out through the glass walls of the stairway he was descending as he headed to his lunch date.  A memorial now marks the spot where Paula passed away and a memorial garden was also established at Iowa State University in her honor.

As Fr. LaBelle describes it, “Walt and Paula were high school sweethearts, adding to the shock of the tragedy.  Needless to say, Walt was devastated.  Staff and faculty rallied to support him emotionally and spiritually.  This helped ease the pain, although nothing could replace the loss he felt.”

In short, the dean could never have anticipated his new life.

I distinctly remember reading about the horrifying event.  The news reached me through the Jesuit network.   And all I could think was, “Oh, dear God, poor Walt.”  It then left me speechless, numb, and in tears.

You see, Walt Gmelch is not only an incredible role model as a dean.  He is among the finest people I have ever known – gentle, kind, compassionate, and caring.   Walt is the person who makes you immediately feel comfortable, as if you’ve known him your entire life.  And it’s just like that every time you see him.  Although I’d certainly value being regarded as a dean of his caliber one day, my much larger aspiration would be to resemble him as a human being.

Recounting the Tragedy

The next time I saw Walt we were gathered again in our deans’ group in Los Angeles.  He maintained his composure just as I expected.  But the sparkle from his eye was gone.  He was profoundly diminished.   Who wouldn’t be?

I can’t fathom anything worse than losing one’s life partner and soulmate with the possible exception of losing a child.  That’s why no day passes without me thanking God profusely for the gift of my wife and daughter and for keeping them safe.  The thought of having either of them taken away is without question the most terrifying prospect imaginable.  I experience chills each time it crosses my mind.

As it turned out, Walt and I had two meetings together near LA that week, and we were able to spend a few hours alone between them.  Of course, I expressed my most profound regrets, just as I had done earlier, but I was content to be respectful and leave it at that.  For some reason, he chose to tell me the story, and although I listened intently, it took everything I had to hold my emotions in check.  Reliving the nightmare seemed to be both painful and therapeutic for him, and I was moved and honored that he shared the sobering tale with me.  I’ll never forget that afternoon.

The Story Continues

The next chapter of the story unfolded last fall when the AJCU Education leaders met at Loyola of Chicago.  I look foward to these meetings, because the other deans and administrators have  become great colleagues and friends.  We know the challenges each other confront on our jobs, and we interact in roles ranging from sounding boards to advisors.  We enjoy catching up on one another’s lives, too, and I admit that we almost always get around to talking basketball — it’s a Jesuit thing.  Anyway, I always look forward to seeing Walt.

He looked much better now.  The sparkle appeared to be back in his eye.  I just figured that time does indeed “help heal all wounds” although I noticed that he still wore a wedding ring.  Looking at it brought back the memory of that dreadful episode in his life.  But he seemed to have adjusted, and I thought nothing more of it.

At the end of our meetings, we always go around the large table and share our good news.  Typically we report professional stuff, but occasionally my colleagues will share personal blessings, mostly news about grandchildren or their kids getting married — that kind of thing.  I was not prepared for everything I would hear.

When Walt’s turn came, he talked about all of the good things that were happening in his School of Education at USF.  It was impressive stuff to be sure, but his last sentence caught me entirely offguard.  He simply said, “And recently I remarried.”

The room went silent, unmistakably devoid of sound, as we all grasped the significance of his words.  Then a chorus of joyful applause erupted.  If anyone deserved newfound happiness, it was Walt Gmelch.  Chalk this moment up as another indelible lifetime memory.

Yet Another New Life

Afterwards Walt told me that his new bride had unexpectedly lost her husband, too.  Mutual friends got them together, not for romantic purposes, but because they thought it would help them both heal.   He went on to say that their shared experiences opened the door for their relationship to evolve from acquaintances to friendship and then to love.

So, don’t even try convincing me that God doesn’t work in surprising, wonderful, mysterious ways!

This time around the Dean’s new life means something very, very different.  May God bless your marriage, Walt Gmelch.  I have no doubt that Paula’s spirit rests in peace now, knowing that you will be just fine.