New Year’s Resolution Effect

By Jonathon Sumpter — New Year’s resolutions, to me, seem to be more about what was rather than what may be. December 31’s ideas of gyms, carrots, and making more money turn into spending more money on carrot cake and Slim Jims (which has nothing to do with my own slimness), right around January 7th at 6am.

The New Year has become more about past regret and shame than future hopes and dreams. Maybe this is the New Year’s Resolution Effect, or, maybe I’m just cynical.

As I enter my final semester of my Masters program during the New Year, I find my head crooking backwards and forwards all at once. All the decisions that I have made that got me here have come under fire, as the “real world” knocks at my consciousness. Am I prepared,  will I pass the licensing tests, will I be able to support my family? The future is not here yet, but I seem to be anticipating the future with a lens shaded by the past. Will I be as successful in my future endeavors as my past, or was this all for not?

Just like New Years’ Resolutions, I’m seeing all that was not, rather than what can be. Instead of thoughts like, did I pay enough attention in Dr. Melchert’s Theories class, or did I take full advantage of supervision; I should be looking forward. I would venture a guess that the majority of my classmates are simply ready to be at May 19th, walking across to accept their diploma. However, I don’t know who all are really ready to jump into a career. I say I am. But, there is always a hesitance, a slight trepidation. So I set goals, or resolutions for my future. I will be here at this time, I will be doing this at this time, I will have it all figured out by then. But this is too future oriented for my comfort as well.

Even though the future is about to knock, it is not at the door yet. I think I will have to sit and enjoy the “December 31st” feel of my last semester. Not allowing the New Year Resolution Effect of past regret or future pressure press too firmly on myself that I simply “snoozing” through the present, just like  on January 7th at 6 am.

There’s plenty of time to worry, there’s plenty of time to be accomplished, right now, I’ll just be a student for a little while longer. This New Year will come one day at a time, I might as well do that too.

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